the morning of 21 feb
I feel particularly loved this morning. you know those small moments when you feel like someone really, truly cares and you are not alone in this world? I have had at least ten of those in the last few hours and have somehow managed to hold back my tears. I thought I'd come here and document that. it's been a while.
my mildly insomniac self was up till 4:30 am. went to bed at 4:30 and immediately fell asleep until the friend whose place I am staying at woke me up at 5:40 am to say goodbye. he left for a small trip with his friends. I am supposed to take care of his two cats. oh, how I have looked forward to doing this.
bid him farewell and fell back asleep until one of the cats woke me up at 7 am. her name is belly. gave her some head scratches, she sat on top of me, trying to get the comforter off my body with her little paw, I smiled and scratched her head. she got down, I petted her again. she came back to stand on me after a minute. did this a few times over but I was too sleepy to get up.
their breakfast time is 8 am. I didn't wake up until 8: 10am. belly woke me up the same way again. it's the sweetest way someone has ever asked me to get up - by standing on my chest, putting a paw on my nose and commanding my attention.
got up, gave them their food, and sat with them till they finished it. it was time to start my morning.
there is this playlist one of the guys I was seeing one and a half years back made me. I play it in the mornings that feel good. I never play it on shuffle. I like having a vague idea of the song sequence in my head singing along to some parts of some songs and staying quiet just doing my thing on others. there has never been a time when I played the playlist and my morning didn't turn out to be beautiful. for more than a year the playlist hadn't changed at all but today there were new songs added to it. I played it this morning.
oh, and this wasn't all. I had gifted this friend a small handmade painting with a sticky note. it had a message on it. it's on his study desk with the note pasted perfectly behind the painting.
I am writing this while one cat is loafing on the bed and the other is on a chair. they have exchanged their designated spots this morning. dil beparvah plays on a small speaker kept on the desk, the windows are open, the curtains are rolled, the tree leaves are swaying as the golden morning sun falls on them.
maybe this is what being home feels like.